myst@agora.rdrop.com Checking In Black Phoenix myst@agora.rdrop.com Tue Sep 25 02:28:24 2001 Greetings everyone...*br* I have found that in times of stress, of unhappiness, sorrow & grief, my footsteps eventually lead me back here to folks I know, and who know me. So many things have been happening this year. My fibromyalgia is getting worse and there are days when I struggle just to take care of daily activities. My roommates bailed on me this year, owing me $439 in back rent/utilities, facing winter's heating bills to come, and leaving me with a bitter taste in my mouth from the experience. I know that I'll never get the money they owe me. And I'm back to juggling finances and not sure if I ever want to take the chance on having another roommate.*br* September is always a difficult month for me. My favorite Aunt's birthday is the 17th of September, which is also my son's birthday. My Aunt left us for the Summerlands back in 1994. The 17th of September is also the day that Children Services took both my kids away, leaving me crying on my kitchen floor. I never did get them back nor have I been able to see them or talk to them and none of the State's allegations were ever proven. My son is now 14, and my daughter is 11 1/2. My son was 5 years old, and my daughter 2 1/2 years old when they were taken. The last time I saw my daughter was her 5th birthday. The last time I spoke to my son was in 1998. *br* Today would have been the 43rd birthday of my best friend. She was one year and one month older than me, and I miss them all, every day. My best friend died 15 Sept 1996, a cardiac arrest during a grand mal seizure. Her two sons were alone with her, found her body and called 911 as they had been taught. They were 6 and 4. Their father arrived home just after the ambulance arrived. They had met at the hospital in 1985. He was her nurse while she was in the hospital for tests after she had heart trouble during a seizure. She and I became friends during 7th grade. I wasn't scared by her epilepsy and I know that she was greatful for that. *br* As if life hadn't dealt me and those I care about enough of a lemon hand, came the horror of 11 Sept. 2001 in New York. My Aunt's eldest daughter (the eldest child of 8, she helped my Aunt take care of her sisters and brothers while my Aunt worked) Theresa, lives in Staten Island and works in the city. I have yet to hear from her. I've sent both email and snail mail and will buy a phone card next Monday and call her. *br* There are times when I am totally amazed that with each new problem, that I manage to keep getting up and keep going on. I guess I'm stronger than I think I am. I'll be 42 years old next month on the 24th. But tonight, I remember my best friend Andrea. I know that she watches over all of her family and friends. So here's a virtual toast to Andrea on her 43rd birthday. Thanks for watching over us.*p*Julia*br*The Black Phoenix*br* *br* 63.227.215.18