The Summer Sun          Beltaine 1999
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The Continuing Adventures of Táséag Glagaireacht 
I never asked to be born, but it happened anyway.  
I was taken out of what I had thought would be my final frontier.  
I was caught up in a conspiracy of universal proportions,  
taken to a place of good intentions, but questionable means.  
It happened to me.  
It can happen to you.  
And the only way to get out is to die.  

I amTáséag Glagaireacht and this is my life.  


     Tash, having only recently completed a program of past-life regression therapy in an attempt to understand his fear of caviar, is cruising the Internet from his home in Elizabeth, New Jersey, the only place on earth whose glow can be seen from deep space. He is elated when the 87th item turned up during a Wahoo search, keywords "Who Am I?" reveals the URL of the website for  MU: The Institute of Mystic Phenomenalistic Pantheisticism and Bovine Science.  Intrigued by the  Institute's Statement of Self-Revelation, Tash decides to send for a catalog of upcoming workshops.  
     The following day, Tash is surprised by a telephone call from his mother and father, Pat and Pat O'Doul, informing him that they will be coming to visit him for a few days. Tash is concerned since his father has never understood why he would give up the O'Doul name for one even he can hardly spell. However, he is taken aback upon their arrival when his father appears in a kilt, experiencing an embarassing public updraft on his front step. Pat and Pat explain that they had recently spent a week at a Celtic  Revelry and Debauchery Festival for Seniors, and have come away with a deeper appreciation of their Celtic roots. Tash's decision to shed his Anglo-Saxon-Norman slave name is fine with them. Tash is relieved, though he is concerned that his father needs to learn to cross his legs.  
     The MU catalog arrives during his parents' stay. Tash decides to attend a weekend workshop at the center.  He chooses a workshop called "Deoch An Dorais: The Solitary Celtic Mystic" given by acclaimed Irish poet and mystic Guptha Nabokov. His father agrees to pay for the workshop as a trade for Tash's plaid curtains.  
     Tash goes on the workshop and enjoys it immensely, particularly the organically grown lunches and organically blonde masseuses.  He gets to buy an autographed copy of Nabokov's latest book, So When Samhain?  He also gets to meet some new friends, and begins to think of going to an Environmental Action Prayer Conference with them some day.  
     The photo shows Tash (identified by the white arrow) at the Irish OM Moment Isolation Meditation during the Solitary Celtic Mystic workshop.  

     I really liked the workshop at MU, but it was nothing like the experience I would have later when, in a dream sequence involving several of the organic masseuses I realized that I was once a sturgeon-killing neo-naturalistic body surfer.  But that's another story.