The Continuing Adventures of Táséag
I never asked to be born, but
it happened anyway.
I was taken out of what I had
thought would be my final frontier.
I was caught up in a conspiracy
of universal proportions,
taken to a place of good intentions,
but questionable means.
It happened to me.
It can happen to you.
And the only way to get out
is to die.
Glagaireacht and this is my life.
only recently completed a program of past-life regression therapy in an
attempt to understand his fear of caviar, is cruising the Internet from
his home in Elizabeth, New Jersey, the only place on earth whose glow can
be seen from deep space.
He is elated when the 87th item turned up during a Wahoo search, keywords
"Who Am I?" reveals the URL of the website for MU: The Institute
of Mystic Phenomenalistic Pantheisticism and Bovine Science. Intrigued
by the Institute's Statement of Self-Revelation, Tash decides to
send for a catalog of upcoming workshops.
day, Tash is surprised by a telephone call from his mother and father,
Pat and Pat O'Doul, informing him that they will be coming to visit him
for a few days. Tash is concerned since his father has never understood
why he would give up the O'Doul name for one even he can hardly spell.
However, he is taken aback upon their arrival when his father appears in
a kilt, experiencing an embarassing public updraft on his front step. Pat
and Pat explain that they had recently spent a week at a Celtic Revelry
and Debauchery Festival for Seniors, and have come away with a deeper appreciation
of their Celtic roots. Tash's decision to shed his Anglo-Saxon-Norman slave
name is fine with them. Tash is relieved, though he is concerned that his
father needs to learn to cross his legs.
catalog arrives during his parents' stay. Tash decides to attend a weekend
workshop at the center. He chooses a workshop called "Deoch An Dorais:
The Solitary Celtic Mystic" given by acclaimed Irish poet and mystic Guptha
Nabokov. His father agrees to pay for the workshop as a trade for Tash's
on the workshop and enjoys it immensely, particularly the organically grown
lunches and organically blonde masseuses. He gets to buy an autographed
copy of Nabokov's latest book, So When Samhain? He also gets
to meet some new friends, and begins to think of going to an Environmental
Action Prayer Conference with them some day.
shows Tash (identified by the white arrow) at the Irish OM Moment Isolation
Meditation during the Solitary Celtic Mystic workshop.
liked the workshop at MU, but it was nothing like the experience I would
have later when, in a dream sequence involving several of the organic masseuses
I realized that I was once a sturgeon-killing neo-naturalistic body surfer.
But that's another story.